THE TESTOSTERONE HAZE
(1)
OK, my dear Paula. Let us get this thing straight right now. You’re still angry at this moment. OK, I understand, but please can you understand this? I am a man! I am a goofy man, for sure. Can’t you see that? Can you look at the world through my hormone haze one time?
How many times must I tell you why I was compelled to look at other women? There is something about me, about men, that you don’t seem to want to understand.
Listen closely to my words. I hope you’ll try to absorb these concepts so that you can take back my love for you.
It really is silly to say, but self-control comes at a high price for the normal red blooded man. Self-restraint is very emotionally costly. The stress and strain of holding ourselves back is soul breaking... of keeping our hands to ourselves... of focusing our attentions away from certain daily distractions... of not responding to our primal urges, takes a heavy toll on the body and mind of a man.
You will never know the pure crack cocaine-like rush of adrenalin and testosterone that overtakes the mind and body of a man when he comes into contact with a beautiful, full of life, aggressive woman.
You will NEVER know that rush!
The overwhelming rush of those self-produced body chemicals is pure narcotic!
Then suddenly, in that moment of realization, that man must suck in all that insane emotion, and flush away the chemical induced fantasy, and crash himself back to cold sweat reality.
A taken man of integrity might think something like this in that moment... “What in the hell am I thinking? I don’t know this lady. Purge those horned thoughts.”
If he says hello to this woman and she responds positively... and he loses his mind and follows after her... he just might end up screwing himself royally!
But does he want to allow the potential for the great unknown to escape by spurning her advancements? The mind reels dizzy when the battle to be right has to fight a battle to be wrong.
(2)
Now... oh yea, you are still my most beautiful star in the galaxy! You don’t want me to describe you in this manner, but you you might as well know the truth about how men talk about you when they see you.
You are simply too fine.
Look at my luck, will you? I consider myself to be just a dude who works hard and enjoys life. One day, lucky me, I glanced a look at you at the supermarket. Remember, you were picking out apples? Remember how you did a really silly thing when you took an apple from the bottom of the pile, causing an avalanche of apples to fall to the floor?
I remember... you let out a squeak. I turned around and there you were.... looking so helpless and innocent as the fruit rolled and bounced around your knees. I had to go to your rescue.
At that time I was a single guy just shopping for some popcorn. So, approaching you was not a problem... I was simply helping the distressed lady who was down on her knees chasing fruit.
I was a little shocked as you looked at me and smiled when you allowed me to help you pick up the apples just before the produce managers came to finish the clean-up. We stood up, the apologies were made by you to them, they told you everything was OK and you took your two apples into your hands.
And I was shocked as I now saw your awesome beauty face to face.
I was even more shocked when you proved to be personable and interested in me. Honestly, I never believed that I could have a girlfriend as beautiful as you. I always girl watched day to day, hoping for a good lady... imagining what it would be like to be with the most beautiful women I’d ever seen.
And then, I met you and that dream came true.
(3)
So, we are now in the now. You and I have been together for over one year. I love you, and I respect you for the person you are inside. It would be so easy to focus on your exterior, if I chose to do so.
(4)
All my dude friends simply drool over you every time they see you. You don’t know this, but some of them have even asked me what it is like to have sex with you. And no, I have not ever discussed our sex life with anyone!
And, I make sure the guy who asks a question like that never asks it again.
Now, even with all that has been said, I’ve already admitted to you that I still occasionally look at other women when I’m out with my boys. I do not touch women. I do not ever collect women’s cell phone numbers. But, I did look in the past.
I’m a man and I am compelled by forces beyond my control when I look at another woman. You can be pissed-off at me all you want when you feel insecure... why, I don’t know... but always remember the words in this letter. Understand the mind of a man and you will always know where we’re coming from. I am now giving you my inner mind so that you can co-exist with me in peace.
(5)
Now, can we please kiss and make up. I know I made you angry when you basked me your questions and I told you the truth... I did tell you the truth. And, I have not ever cheated... but I have looked at women when I am out with my friends.
Hey, baby... I know you’re taller then me. You’re obviously many times better looking than me. You are smarter than I am and I am the luckiest man in the world to have had you in my life. You are my brown haired vision of my future. I want you in my arms right now, please?
You are still my girl.
And Nick’s couch is not comfortable.
And I have not been out with them in the two weeks since I took over his couch.
And I have no more desire to hang with the boys.
Can I come back home to you?
Remember... you call me your “Massage King Man?”
Remember how good my hands feel on your back?
Are you really going to throw me away over something like this?
My cell phone is on and right here by my side.
Call me, please?
THE END?
